Pitchforks and Hammerhandles!

The amount of precipitation now occurring reminds me of a fast, heavy drizzle--now, of pitchforks and hammerhandles--and, through it all, the gentleman, advanced in years, slept, respiring cacophonically. You see, here is what happened: upon gaining his sleeping palate, the gentleman inadvertantly caused a violent impact between his skull and some other unspecified object, possibly even the piece of furniture which was supposed to afford him his respite. So injurious was this collision that even after the night's duration, he was unable to regain control of his voluntary muscles or stimulate his motor nerves to the point of arising.

(translation)