The Half-Wit

There was a certain half-wit who entered the presence of, got acquainted with, and engaged in conversation a fellow who made circular pastry dishes comprised of twain circular layers of dough, joined at the distal extremities, enclosing a thick, fruity sauce within. One or both of these personalities (the sentence structure does not make it clear which) was pursuing a path which would presently guide him to an area designated for the gathering together of sellers at a particular time and place to competitively exhibit their salable items in hopes of their being purchased by the buyers there for that purpose. The half-wit, after an unspecified amount of dicussion, demanded: "Permit me to stimulate my gustative receptors (those on the circumvallate papillae, soft palate, and epiglottis, of course) and ascertain the quality of your culinary workmanship."

The other party retorts, with suspicious insight, "I must first determine whether you have the financial wherewithal to recompense me for my efforts."

To which the half-wit demurred, "I must admit that tokens representative of the negotiable medium of exchange are rare in my personal effects; and at the present time, the number of such objects in my possession would best be represented by the null set."

Some time later, the narrative picks up the same half-wit attempting to secure (for eating, it is typically postulated) an aquatic mammal of the order Cetacea by ensnaring a curved, barbed wire in the mandibular area. The curved wire, connected to a cord, would then be used to draw the catch to shore. The obvious fallacy in this scenario, of course, is the fact that such a diminutive quantity of water was used as the medium from which to draw the desired specimen: one bucketful was all!

As the final scene of this epic drama, we once again zoom in on the previously noted half-wit as he is endeavoring to determine if oval smooth-skinned drupes develop as a fruit on hawthorn-type shrubs. In this process, he impales the distal pad of one of his opposable digits with the extended, spinose structure that was an integral part of the shrub. So distessing was the sensation thereby incurred, that the half-wit uttered a shrill, clear sound by forcing air between his puckered lips.

(translation)