Elaine Batton

Elaine was hired to replace Betho. Elaine is an Aussie, which means, of course, that she has a delightful accent. Like Beth, Elaine was on the Support (or Tech Marketing) side of the house, and what was called an "earlybird" in Beth's day was called an "Early Access Program," or EAP, in Elaine's day. But it meant the same thing: customers using beta-release hardware and/or software.

This poem was written when Elaine transferred to another group, headed by one Kevin.

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A Poem
Elaine Batton
Technical Marketing Group
Copyright 1996 David Arns

The outlook wasn't brilliant for Tech Marketing that day,
Dan had up and left, and now Elaine was going away!
Our department wasn't used to people 'bandoning their post--
If five more people do the same, the department will be toast.

She wasn't here for very long; it seems just yesterday
When Beth was leaving, and she'd heard, some convoluted way,
About an Aussie lady looking for a situation
Within the States, so she might stop our group's attenuation.

And so we paid her airplane fare, so we could interview her,
And of those people interviewed, no one could outdo her.
Therefore, we made an offer, which she very quickly took,
She up and left down-under land, without a backward look.

And once in town, she spent a week just looking for a flat,
And then she bought a car (of course, there were no flats on that).
It was the red Miata that we've heard so much about--
A sporty little thing that goes real fast, without a doubt.

And then she started working for us, and we quickly found
She was an asset to the group, and nice to have around;
When EAPs got out of hand, she'd whip them into shape,
And send the lonely customers their long-awaited tape.

On one occasion, when we heard a squeal of pure delight
Emanating from her cube, we thought, "Is she all right?"
With many days and weeks and months of red tape now cut through,
She'd got her Green Card; now she really was one of the crew.

We got to know her, and we found she's truly into sports,
She loves to bike, play volleyball, and games of every sort,
And scream downhill on slippery boards, past tall snow-covered trees,
Until abruptly stopping, having blown one of her knees.

But little things like ligaments won't slow her down for long,
Some surgery, some therapy, and soon, she's just as strong
As e'er before (in spite of her impatience with her knee,
And skipping steps her therapist had given by decree).

So now she's got herself another job to call her own,
We left the cage door open--and now the bird has flown.
There's one thing that we know for sure, and this is simply that:
Kevin's group will do quite well with Batton at the bat.

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